Tail Between My Legs

How did I end up here?

When I was in University I decided to take theatre. It wasn't because I thought I would be really good at it, but because I was very shy and wanted to go to the parties. I figured it would be a really good way to meet women.

The shy guy who couldn't talk to anyone was elected class representative to serve on the board of directors of the Black Hole Theatre Company at the University of Manitoba. The board was in charge of approving submissions from students who wanted to direct and put on plays during lunch time.

It was called a lunch bag (not sure how they spelled it but it wasn't like this).

The first time I was in a position to vote there were no submissions. Instead of cancelling the show I found a script and put together a pretty good show. It was a big success. (I directed)

During the next vote we once again received no submissions. The program was hoping students from the OnStage class would submit but nobody had. After the meeting I spoke with one of the students in the class who had wanted to submit but couldn't get the rights. I told him to go speak to Dennis Smith, the technical director of the company.

The next day we had a meeting to approve a new submission. I ended up getting the lead role in the show. It was different but well received.

I was rewarded for all of this hard work with a dream assignment. There were talks of a master playwright festival and it just so happened that the playwright they were going to do that year was my favourite writer, Samuel Beckett.

I got to direct Krapp's Last Tape.

Before that show went up I auditioned for Kelly Stifora who cast me as the lead in Fat Men In Skirts.

Guy Maddin came to see the performance. When I saw George Toles the next day, without asking him what he thought of my performance (I never asked) he told me how impressed Maddin had been.

He said I was the kind of actor who could carry a movie.

So where did it all go wrong?

Poor anger management was all the self-sabotage I needed to completely derail all of my success and any chance I had to make a career out of doing something I truly loved and was good at.

Acting was never hard for me. It was just something I knew how to do as if nobody ever had to teach me.

I was a natural.

Writing just isn't as easy.

In December I did a work placement at the Selkirk Record. It did not go as well as I thought it would.

As it turns out I'm not as good a journalist as I thought I was.

For the last little while I have had my tail between my legs. I feel humble.

I'm not going to give up. I just need to try harder.

For someone who has had things so easy his entire life this will probably be a good thing.

I need to work harder and develop more of a work ethic.

I guess that's why I'm here.