A Legacy of Hate, and Anger (Part 1)

If I could pick how I would be remembered in Korea, I would want it to be for those Friday and Saturday nights in Anyang, working the room and my magic at Happidus. 

My friend Jeff Sinclair once did a comedy show there on a Saturday night and asked me if I could help him out by inviting some of my local friends to the bar.  When I arrived shortly after midnight, I had missed the show, but the place was packed with people I knew.

Groups of people came up to me and said hello, asking me where I was and why I had been late to the event I had invited everybody to.  I went from table to table, talking it up, and having a great time.

There was a period in history where I pretty much knew everyone at that bar and I was a very welcomed guest.  My favourite memories were the customary sing-a-longs we used to do with Sweet Caroline, by Neil Diamond, and Piano Man, by Billy Joel.

Unfortunately, this does not paint an accurate picture of my time in Korea, but only one small part.

The truth is that I have a really big problem with anger management, and this, above everything else, is the legacy I have left behind.

As a kid I used to throw temper tantrums when I would lose a game or not get my way.  In grade three, after losing a game of dodge ball to a kid in grade one, I gave him a really hard shove from behind that put him on the ground.

At the University of Manitoba I was a very promising student in the theatre department.  I was on the board of directors and directed a very successful lunch bahg written by David Annandale.  I followed this up by acting in the lead role of another successful show.

I was rewarded for this hard work by being named director of Krapp’s Last Tape, for Beckettfest 2001.  Kelly Stifora cast me as the lead in Fat Men In Skirts.  George Toles brought Guy Maddin to see it and I got to overhear their conversation during the intermission in the washroom.  Maddin was saying to Toles that he thought in the second act, the father would become the good guy.

When I bumped into George the next day at his office I didn’t have to ask him what he thought of the show (I never used to do this anyway – it’s the easiest way to get someone to lie to you) when he started telling me.

He said Guy thought I was the kind of actor who could really carry a movie.

But then, all of my hard work was undone because of my anger. 

I was verbally abusive towards my co-star Tracy Penner.  During the previous school year I had directed Tracy in my lunch bahg and somewhere along the way I developed a really big crush on her.  When I found out she was going out with a friend of mine I turned into a kicking, screaming and yelling four year old brat.

My behaviour at times during this production was very shameful and I lost a lot of really good friends because of it, and deservedly so.

Through it all I had such incredible support from the head of the department, Chris Johnson.  I would not have graduated without it.

A year earlier I had lost my temper on Chris because he hadn’t cast me in Twelfth Night, and once again I turned into an angry child and ripped up posters on campus.

A year later, when Margaret Groome didn’t cast me in a Shakespeare I did it again, and once again, Chris Johnson tried to get me help and was on my side.

I shit all over this by giving Margaret Groome a ripped up copy of Hamlet. I left an angry message on her machine and campus security was called.

That was pretty much the end of my acting career, even though I took it up again a few years later, studying 

with Onalee Ames.  I ended up getting kicked out of there after being given multiple chances to clean up my act.  Once again my poor anger management was the main culprit.

After getting kicked out of acting classes I decided to move to Korea and teach English.  The first nine months went off without a snag and I didn’t lose my temper once, unless you count the time I got really mad at my former boss for selling the school I was working at without telling me.  I found out when I showed up for work, asked why she wasn’t there, and then got told.

Spruce up your life!

For the past few months it has been my pleasure to work on a magazine project with three very smart, talented and friendly people.  Tomorrow the magazine project will be over after the magazine fair is held at Red River College.  Anyone in the Winnipeg area who has some free time on their hands can head down to the Princess Street campus to get a chance to interact with some pretty clever people.

Before it all ends I would like to take this time to pay a little homage to the team before we all split up and go our separate ways.

I'll start with Bethany Giroux.  Bethany is from the same home town as my mom is, Carman, Manitoba.  As my grandmother used to say, only the best people come from Carman.  Bethany did a very good job at living up to this incredibly high standard, and I am very proud to call her my friend.

If I can ever get my act together, it will be a pleasure to join Marney Blunt as a journalism major next year.  Marney is also a big fan of classic rock music, something I am very much into.  If anyone out there is also interested in this kind of music I recommend that they check out her blog.

I've worked with Eden Ramsey a lot during my first year at Red River.  Eden is incredibly talented at graphic design and I've learned so much from her during this term.  At the beginning of the year I used to stake out the computer lab just to make sure I could get the computer right next to hers.  Don't know how I could have gotten through Electronic Publishing as much as I have this term without her help.  Thanks again.

If anyone out there would like to meet any of these fine people (sorry, I'll be there too), come and join team Spruce at the magazine fair tomorrow.  You might just win a very nice prize, but you will definitely go away feeling at least a little bit better about your day.

cheers,

rymr

ps. thanks for all the hits in Russia.  go Evgeni Malkin! 

That's it, back to Anyang!

After a 14 month absence, I am going back to the ROK. (Repulic Of Korea).

I couldn't be more excited.  As soon as I posted the news on Facebook I started getting all kinds of messages from so many of my good friends who are still there and they were all excited about seeing me again.

IT only took a few minutes to get a free place to stay for the three months I will be there.

I will be staying with my friends Tom and Janice.

Janice is one of my all time best friends.  She's one of the sweetest people I've ever met in my life.  She was the friend I used to always turn to when I was having 'girl' troubles, and when she needed a shoulder to cry on, it was very often mine.

I didn't really know Tom all that well.  The first time I really hung out with him was on Christmas Eve, 2011.  I bought him a shot of tequila.  Less than 2 months later I was gone.

Tom was the only person who came to all 3 of my going away parties. (I held them in different places and on different dates so I could see as many people as possible before I left.)

Most of the pictures taken from these events were taken by him and I find it surprising that he is only in one or two.

Tom was actually the teacher who replaced my good friend Nathan.

Nathan was from Wales and we bonded because we both had a problem with anger management.

When I met Tom, Janice wasn't in Korea.  She would return after I left.

Tom started hanging out with some of my friends, including my Irish friend Karl.  I used to carry a card around that read: To avoid drama, do what you think Karl would do.

Janice and Tom have now been going out for over a year.  When I get to Korea it will be the first time the three of us will be able to hang out together.

They probably wouldn't have met if not for me, so I guess I must have done something right along the way.

In Korea I tried to always make a point of helping out newcomers by reaching out to them.

The thing I loved the most about Korea was being a part of the ex-pat community.  It just seems that people who are willing to move halfway around the world are just a little more laid back and open minded.

I can't wait to see them again.

cheers,

rymr

Memories of White Day in Korea

The year was 2010.  I had just finished my second week as a public high school teacher in Anyang.  I had been out to Guri and then Hongdae, with one of my all time best friends, Shane Skaggs, the night before.  I checked my e-mail when I got home at 8 in the morning.  There was a message from Amanda Lenz.

It was a Sunday, my favourite day of the week.  I just started playing hockey in the CBHK, a fairly competitive ball hockey league set up by Canadians living in Korea. I was on my way to the game when I stopped at a payphone (I didn’t have my own phone) to give her a call.  We made plans to meet up at the Dublin in Bundang for trivia that night.

On the subway I met Nic Brown.  I asked him about White Day and whether or not I should buy some chocolates for Amanda.  He thought it was a good idea.  I still wasn’t sure and felt a little bit cautious about it.

Trivia night at the Dublin was so much fun.  Sean McConoghey used to do a ‘racism’ category that pushed the limits a little bit.  People in Winnipeg would probably get all huffy about the things he said, but we all took it as the joke it was meant to be.    

One time my Austrian friend Jan greeted me at the door with a very loud ‘Fuck you Neil’.  This was a typical friendly greeting.  The only problem was I was with my parents and they didn’t get our sense of humour.

That night, my parents were very brave as they got to learn what a ‘Dirty Sanchez’ and a ‘Cleaveland Steamer’ are. (They did a 'sex' category.  Some of them were much worse.)

After hockey I cabbed it back to my apartment and took a shower.  I caught the 3330 bus in Anyang and arrived in Bundang less than an hour later.  On the drive, the bus was up on this very high road, overlooking Bundang.  At night you could see the city all lit up below.

I made a quick stop at one of the little shops next to Seohyun station to buy Amanda some chocolates, and went to the Dublin.

Amanda was waiting for me alone in a booth right across from the entrance.  We played a game of pool before the trivia began.

We were playing on a four player team with her friends Tasha, and Shea.  Our team did very poorly in the trivia contest, but I didn’t really care.  I was having a really good time hanging out with Amanda.

My friend Jeff Sinclair from Winnipeg was there and before he left he ended up getting the phone number of Amanda’s roommate Gina.  Next Friday we would have a double date.

As more and more of our friends left, the two of us kept talking. 

Amanda was the first American I ever met that admitted they voted for George Bush.  A few days later, when I was hanging out with my friend Dave, he told me I should dump her, after I told him this.  Not only did she vote for Bush, but she said that she also would have voted for John McCain and Sarah Palin, had she been in America at the time.

She was from Missouri, and her political views were very conservative.  In this respect we were very much the opposite.  I think this actually made me like her more, as I like to be around people who have different points of view.

After a while, there were only three people left in the bar, other than the bartender Matt.  I was about to take a cab home but Gina would not let me.  She and Amanda practically had to drag me into the back of the cab.  I was going to spend the night in Bundang, whether I liked it or not.

Ps. I ended up keeping the chocolates.  I was too shy to give them to her.

rymr